Perpetual Adolescence: When Coming of Age Doesn’t Come

Perpetual Adolescence: When Coming of Age Doesn’t Come

Perpetual Adolescence: When Coming of Age Doesn’t Come

Parents have always complained about the children. These complaints usually stop when their children grow up and assume responsibilities.

Something has changed with this generation. Many youth are neither growing up nor assuming responsibility. America is facing a coming-of-age crisis that leaves young people ill-equipped to survive in a highly unstable world.

One in three of those between the ages of 18 and 34 live with their parents. Some 30 percent of all college students drop out after their first year. A recent test of college seniors found that one-third could not make cohesive arguments, think critically, or evaluate the quality of data.

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The coming-of-age rituals that facilitate this entry are either delayed or skipped. The coming generations are increasingly not engaged in political, religious or civil affairs.

‘Adulting’ v. Becoming an Adult

This disturbing trend can be seen in the appearance of the verb “to adult.” This new usage of an old noun does not mean to become an adult. It merely means to do something grown up. A young man that shows up on time for work one day might claim he is “adulting.” He is not assuming adult habits but merely temporarily leaving his perpetual adolescence.

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This new “adulting” generation is stirring up a debate. Nebraska’s Senator Ben Sasse is one of many who have entered the fray. He has written a book titled The Vanishing Adult: Our Coming-of-Age Crisis — and How to Rebuild a Culture of Self-Reliance. He explores the problem of deferred adulthood.

A Great Passivity

The problem is not the young people themselves. Indeed, many young people have grown up and assumed responsibilities beyond “adulting” forays. However, Sasse cites a growing passivity that is pulling youth down in ways never seen in times past.

This passivity is based on a softer perspective on life made easy in times of prosperity. Youth are not being challenged to deal with those important spiritual matters that explore what makes life worth living. The idea of building resumes takes precedence over building character.

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The resulting product of this process is “softer parenting.” Children have fewer rites of passage to mark great events in their lives. Sen. Sasse’s list of causes is quite familiar to those engaged in parenting: more medicated children, more screen time, more pornography, less marriage, less religion and community participation. They are also more intellectually fragile and politically correct.

A Failure of Education

Modern education is one big area of concern. There is a lack of vision and direction that haunts the education establishment founded on the defective theories of John Dewey. Sasse, a former university president, complains of a warehousing system in which students are treated as cogs in a machine. He prefers an organic model in which students are cultivated like plants. The system also throws money at problems in the vain hope that things will get better.

Schools are increasingly reducing everything to technique and testable knowledge. Thus, students have lost the tools of learning that help them resolve problems outside the box. They no longer are oriented toward the good, the true and the beautiful, but rather to a relativism that Notre Dame professor Brad Gregory so expressively calls the “kingdom of whatever.”

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Students have a hard time becoming adults, says Sasse, because “we have no definable goal for each child to become an adult.” Instead, there is a piecemeal subject-matter approach “that produces passive rather than active emerging adults.”

Leaving ‘Generational Ghettos’

Educators like Sasse, have many ideas about fixing the problem. Most involve returning to the basics at an early age. Others are refreshingly original since they address new problems unknown in the past.

Sasse recommends, for example, an end to age segregation, those “ghettos” where youth only associate with youth. Everyone gains when young people interact with their elders. The illusion of eternal youth is more difficult when youth connects with the fragility and gentle dignity of age.

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Likewise, adolescents need to know about suffering, death and dying. It helps them see that their lives are not perpetual. Teaching children how to suffer early in life provokes questions about life’s meaning and purpose. By learning how to face death, youth can then consider how to die well.

Other Suggestions

Several other suggestions revolve around reviving the American work ethic. The value of long hard work cannot be underestimated. The school of hard knocks on a farm, for example, is worth acres of safe space at a university.

Sasse suggests another practical means to foster maturity by consuming less. The distinction between want and need must be made. Making do with less builds character and provides a sense of accomplishment.

Families should build of a library of great books to expose children to great writers and thinkers. Creating early reading habits makes children become informed adults.

A Debate Has Begun

Such suggestions are all very helpful and practical. Concerned parents need to begin somewhere. The problem cannot be ignored.

However, suggestions Sasse’s do presuppose a framework in which the family is intact. They work in communities that still functions and a strong notion of God is affirmed.

For those outside this increasingly privileged position, a turnaround will be very difficult. The next phase of the debate must address the very real problem of reaching those barely surviving in a dysfunctional society.

At this point, however, there is cause for celebration. At least the debate has begun.

 

As seen on The Stream.

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  • blueskygal

    I have lived in my large apartment complex for many years. I would have to agree with some of the things stated. For example: I see grown men still dressing like teenage boys with baseball hats, baggy pants, and rings in their ears. This. They do not want to grow up and be men – they want to remain in their boyhood playpens. Most of the parents here spend little real time with children and when I see them walking with them the adults are interacting with their phones and ignoring their kids. It’s sad. The millennials here are the least friendly group and interact with other millennials and their phones. They do not even say hello. Before smartphones if you sat at a bus top people talked to each other. No more.

  • CW

    I do not understand what is meant by “One in three of those between the ages of 18 and 34 live with their parents”. Where are the other two of that three? May I assume they are married? Living on their own, virtuously? Or they are living with “partners” whether of different or same sex, with roommates that live together to share expenses, virtuously? Right.

    The implication that living with their parents is wrong, is not a true “Catholic” way. There was a time that one stayed in the home until they married, entered an order, followed a call to some mission, or moved away to take an employment opportunity. Continuing to live with parents until these circumstances come to pass does have the outcome mentioned. They stay connected with and interact with elders “and” younger children within the family, more likely continue to practice their faith, learn to adjust in ever changing surroundings, and most of all more likely to remain chaste. Once adults, must participate as such within the home.

    If it is just the fact that education doesn’t make an adult, I agree. That’s the parents responsibility.

    • Penelope Smith

      well put….thanks

    • Lukas Lumbantobing

      case by case, indeed.