Why
Homosexual "Marriage" Hurts Us
By John Horvat II
“Same-sex ‘marriage’ doesn’t hurt
you personally, so why are you against it?” This
is one of the most common pro-homosexual arguments –
indeed almost a mantra repeated ad nauseam.
Of course, it’s not true that it
does not hurt us. Any moral wrong undermines the common
good and therefore harms all members of society.
Moreover, independent of any personal harm,
the fact remains that same-sex “marriage” is
not marriage. Human nature defines the properties of marriage
as between a man and a woman with the primary purpose of
procreation and the education of children.
We are not free to alter marriage’s
essential purpose or properties. These do not depend on the
will of the contracting parties but are rooted in natural
law which does not change. Two individuals of the same sex
will never be able to marry because of an insurmountable
biological impossibility.
However, such arguments usually do not satisfy
those who repeat the mantra. For them, any harm suffered must
be concrete and personal. Abstract considerations about the
common good or natural law are deemed meaningless.
Changing Us
But same-sex “marriage” does
hurt us concretely and personally.
As many activists will admit, the campaign
for same-sex “marriage” is not only about their
impossible and sterile love but social acceptance. It is
not about “rights” but making the M-word come
from our lips not theirs. We are the target of the same-sex
“marriage” offensive. They cannot change the
nature of marriage but they can try to change us.
That is one reason why we must oppose same-sex
“marriage.” The minute it is socially and legally
accepted by society, we will all feel the enormous psychological
pressure to renounce our moral and religious convictions.
We are not isolated individuals but social
beings living together in society. What others think or
do has an enormous if not decisive influence on us.
This can be seen, for example, in the force
of fashion, peer pressure or political correctness that
frequently leads individuals to change their convictions
because they naturally follow whatever society as a whole
appears to accept.
In a society where unnatural unions are
presented as “normal,” we will personally feel
the cruel pressure of public opinion being brought to bear
against our Christian morality. Indeed, we feel this difficulty
even now as the pro-homosexual movement forces same-sex
“marriage” on the airwaves, the social pages
of our newspapers, and the curricula of our schools.
Once the force of law is given to these
unions, the pro-homosexual movement will have acquired a
powerful psychological weapon to change our rejection of
homosexual activity and impose a gradual, even if reluctant,
acceptance of their lifestyle.
That is why we must oppose it. Our social
nature makes it absurd to affirm that we can live separate
lives. To assume we can simply turn off, ignore or avoid
same-sex “marriage” is to consign us to live
as troglodytes or hermits in the desert.
The Nature
of Society
However, opposing same-sex “marriage” must go
beyond the mere fact that it will obstruct our practice
of virtue. The very nature of community and the state calls
for its exclusion.
When elements perceived as contrary to
the common good are introduced in society, the concrete
effect is the destroying of the moral bonds that bind together
communities. Catholic political philosopher Heinrich Rommen
writes:
“The usual case of the destruction
of a community is the destruction of its specific moral
and legal bond, of its moral order which binds the individuals
in their interdependent coexistence and organizes them for
the independent free realization of their specific common
good.”1
If same-sex “marriage” becomes
law, we will see the further breaking apart of the widely-accepted
moral consensus that has bound American society together
since its founding. We will see the courts creating new
“rights” detached from and opposed to natural
law and American legal precedents leading to the yet greater
polarization of our nation.
Indeed, even now, the same-sex “marriage”
issue is concretely and personally affecting us. It is renting
families and communities asunder. It is fragmenting churches
and creating red state/blue state enmity. It is contributing
to the general unraveling of the nation’s social fiber
proceeding from the fateful Roe v. Wade. decision which
effectively poisoned the body politic of the nation.
Moral Law
Guides
Finally, we must oppose same-sex “marriage”
because all societies need not just any moral order, but
an objective moral order based on natural law to guide them
lest fashions, prejudices, partisan politics and whims be
allowed to dictate a nation’s destiny.
Societies have always acted for the common
good by naturally setting up social structures to defend
themselves against perceived evils.
For this reason, those traditions, customs,
and laws, based on an objective moral law, make up part
of a moral framework that provides for the general well
being. In addition, civilized society recognizes the family
as the basic unit of all society while the rule of law and
right of private property provide the foundation of economic
and legal stability. The state plays its natural role by
giving this whole framework its official stamp of approval
and providing it with benefits.
When laws and social customs that outlaw
homosexual “marriage” are overturned by activist
judges, this whole moral foundation is shaken. The state’s
stamp of approval is put upon any aberration or lifestyle
with enough activists to lobby for it.
A new artificial framework based on hype,
feelings and media perception is put in place. Society is
no longer governed by rule of law but the whims of judges,
city mayors or legislators who feel free to redefine marriage,
or any “loving relationship,” however they see
fit.
The gentle restraints of tradition, family
and property which we lovingly embrace for the protection
and good order of society are brutally overturned and are
denounced as straightjackets by those who reject all sexual
restrictions and even gender identity as tyrannical.
By railroading same-sex “marriage”
upon society, a tiny minority hopes to take a shortcut to
the social acceptance it craves and can never gain through
the ballot box. Capitalizing on the prestige of the State,
it will rob us of that social and legal framework which protects
us from moral disorder and arbitrary government.
Same Sex “Marriage”
Hurts Us
We are social beings. Like it or not, we are thrust into
the middle of this debate. Unless we speak out now, the
only socially and legally acceptable position will soon
be that favoring homosexual union.
And that is why homosexual “marriage”
hurts us.
It hurts us primarily because it is not
marriage and offends against natural moral law.
However, same-sex “marriage”
also hurts us because if we accept it, we are helping to
create the cruel pressure of public opinion that will make
it difficult, if not impossible, to hold true to Church
teaching that all such behavior and unions are sinful and
unnatural.
Same-sex “marriage” hurts us
because if we accept it, we will be contributing to the destruction
of the moral bonds that allow us to live peacefully in society.
It will polarize yet more our already polarized nation.
Finally, same-sex “marriage”
hurts us because by not opposing it, we participate in the
destruction not just of the moral law that prohibits such
relationships, but the whole moral framework that governs
society. Moreover, we offend God who established this moral
law and created us to follow that “law written on the
hearts” of all men (Rom. 2:14-15).
We must oppose homosexual “marriage”
for our own sake.
John Donne rightly declared that no man
is an island. As social beings, we cannot disassociate ourselves
from society or its decadence. If we do not fight for traditional
marriage today, when the death bell tolls for our dissolute
society, none should ask for whom the bell tolls. It will
toll for us.
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